Here's an interesting
perspective from Professor John Money:
Lust, Love and Paraphilia
p.
133:
3 LUST, LOVE AND PARAPHILIA
Paraphilia is defined as a
condition occurring in men and women of being compulsively responsive
to, for optimal initiation and maintenance of sexuoerotic arousal and
the facilitation or attainment of orgasm, obligatively fixated and
dependent on an unusual, personally or socially unacceptable stimulus
either perceived directly, or in the imagery or ideation of fantasy
(from Greek, para-,
beyond, amiss, and by implication altered + philia, love). The antonym
is normophilia. Synonyms are, in the law, perversion; in the
vernacular, kinky sex.
...
The complete scientific
story of how a lovemap develops so as to beocme a paraphilic lovemap
has not yet been ascertained. It is likely that there is a
vulnerability factor such that, other things being equal, some
individuals more than others have a brain that has become predisposed
to elaborate a paraphilic lovemap during the early developmental period
of childhood sexual rehearsal play. ...
p. 134:
Developmentally, a paraphilia is a devious and circuitous strategem by
which lust is rescured from extinction, and preserved in the lovemap,
by the subterfuge of making it the antithesis of love. The lovemap is
warped by this antithesis, which declares love to be saintly and
God-fearing, and lust to be sinful and of the devil. Love is pure,
clean, and wholesome, whereas lust is impure, dirty and unwholesome,
Love is lyrical, romantic, and spiritual. Lust is epic animal, and
carnal. Love is above the belt, tender, affectionate, and permitted in
public. Lust is below the belt, brutual, pornographic, and prohibited
in public. Love is grooming and erotic. Lust is copulative and
orgasmic. Love is long-term commitment and fidelity. Lust is short-term
exploitation and promiscuity. Insidiously, and far-reaching in its
cross-gender implications, love is feminine and refined, and lust is
masculine and crude.
The antithetical attributes of love and lust permeate the lovemaps not
only of paraphiles, but of everyone, in variable degree, for they are
part of the sexual philosophy or sexosophy of the heritage or our
entire society. The difference between the paraphilic and nonparaphilic
lovemap lies in the degree of developmental traumatization to which it
has been subjected by reason of the antithesis between love and lust,
saint and sinner, madonna and whore, provider and playboy. ...
p. 136:
4 SIX GRAND PARAPHILIC STRATAGEMS
There are more than forty entries in the list of the paraphilias
(Money, 1986a; see also Section 15, this chapter, and Glossary). The
number varies according to the specificity with which subtypes are
separated and named.
Each paraphilia has its own lovemap, and each paraphilic lovemap
incorporates a strategem for saving lust from extinction by cleaving it
from love. The term stratagem is used, rather than strategy, because a
strategem has the quality of trickery. It deceives and circumvents the
enemies of lust, regardless of costs, which may be exorbitant. Each
specific stratagem can be subsumed under one of the six grand
stratagems: sacrificial/expiatory, marauding/predatory,
mercantile/venal, fetishistic/talismanic, stigmatic/eligibilic, and
solicitational/allurative.
Each grand stratagem represents a way of
wresting triumph from the jaws
of tragedy. Developmentally, the jaws of tragedy are the threat that
sinful lust will be exterminated from the lovemap and become extinct,
which is precisely what does happen in extreme cases of hypophilia. The
triumph over tragedy is that sinful lust is rescued and retains a place
in the lovemap. Becuase it is sinful, lust irrevocable defiles saintly
love. Therefore, its retention in the lovemap is contingent upon not
defiling saintly love but being separated from it. Each of the six
grand paraphilic stratagems is a formula that satisfies the conditions
of keepin the defilement of sinful lust away from saintly love - of
keeping lust for the whore or the playboy separate from ove for hte
madonna or the provider. Lust and love together cannont converge on the
person of either the saint or the sinner.
The six grand stratagems for cleaving lust from love in the lovemaps of the paraphilias are as follows.
The sacrificial/expiatory stratagem
requires reparation or atonement for the sin of lust by way of penance
and sacrifice. The extreme sacrifice is lust murder: ertophonphilia
when the partner is sacrified, and autassassinophilia when a person
stage-manages the sacrifice of the self. Excluding death, there are
varying degrees, from major to minor, of sasomasochistic sacrifice and
penance for the sin of lust.
The marauding/predatory stratagem requires
that, insofar as saintly lovers do not consent to the sin of lust, a
partner in lust must be stolen, abducted, or coerced by force. The
extreme case of this stratagem is the syndrome of assaultive and
violent paraphilic rape (raptophilia or biastophilia). The spectrum of
coercion ranges from major to minor. In statutory rape there may be no
coercion, but a consensual and pairbonded lover affair, one of the
partners being below the legal age of consent.
The
mercantile/venal stratagem requires
that sinful lust be traded, bartered, or purchased and paid for,
insofar as saingtly lovers do not engage consensually in its free
exchange. The very existence of this stratagem gets masked by reason of
its place in the orgasm trade. Nonetheless, there are some hustlers and
prostitutes, as well as their customers, whose paraphilia is
chtematistophilia, marketing and purchasing sex. Some
chrematistophiles, not in the commercial orgasm trade, pretend with
play money, or have the partner impersonate a whore or a hustler with a
third person. Some set themselves up to be victims of blackmail or
robbery, and some are blackmailers or robbers. The popular military and
judicial dogma that homoseuals are more vulnerable to blackmailers,
paraphilic or otherwise, applices equally well to heterosexauls caught
in clandestine adultery, and to paraphiles of any type whose paraphilia
is exerised clandestinely. Homosexuals who have come out of the
proverbial closet and have nothering to hide may be subject to
discrimination, but not to blackmail.
The
fetishistic/talismanic stratagem
spares the saintly lover from the sin of lust by substituting a token,
fetish, or talisman instead. Fetishes are predominantly either smelly
(olfactophilic) or touchy-feely (hyphephilic), and both are derived
from the smell and feel of parts of the human body. Devotion to the
fetish may be all-consuming or minor.
The
stigmatic/eligibilic stratagem requires
the parnter in lust be, metaphorically, a pagan infidel, disparate in
religion, race, color, nationality, social class, or age, from teh
saintly lovers of one's own social group. Morphophilic disparity
pertains to disparity in the appearance of the body, and chronophilic
disparity to age disparity. An exceptional example of morphophilia is
acrotomophilia, in which the partner must have an amputation stump. The
extremes of chronophilia are pedophilia, in which only juveniles (or
babies, in nepiophilia) are eligible as lust partners, and
gerontophilia in which the eligible partners are of parental or
grandparental age. Age eligibility limits the duration of a
partnership. In pedophilia, for example, the pedophile's own
sexuoerotic age reminas permanently juvenile and out of synchrony with
his or her advancing chronological age. Correspondingly, the partner's
eligibility is abolished by the odors and maturaltional changes of
puberty. There is a corresponding limitation on the duration of
relationships in, not only epherbophilia (attraction to adolescents)
and gerontophilia, but also in what might be called "twentophilia,"
"thirtiophilia," and so on. These latter underlie the broken
relationships, homosexual as well as heterosexual, and the divorces of
many couples in the decades of middle adulthood.
The
solicitational/allurative stratagems
protect the saint by displacing lust from the act of copulation in the
acceptive phase, to an invitational gesture or overture of the
proceptive phase. This might be called in the vernacular the paraphilia
of the cockteaser or, in gay argot, of the loving queen. Among
primates, exhibiting the genitals and inspecting them are prototypic
invitations to copulate. In paraphilic exhibitionism of the penis
(peodeiktophilia) and voyeurism (being a Peeping Tom), the preliminary
p. 138
overture displaces the main act in lustful importance. Displacement in
this stratagem is the counterpart of inclusing of something in the
other five stratagems. Paraphilic female exhibitionists who expose
their genitalia to men almost never get reported to the police, so that
their prevalence is unknown. Genital exposure under licit
circumstances, as in a nudist resort, is not sexuoerotically arousing
to exhibitionists and voyers. Their arousal is contingent on the
illicitness of their paraphilic actions. Narratives and pictures also
may feature as invitational stratagems.
One shared feature of all six grand strategems is
that they are not exclusive to the paraphilias but have much broader
significance in the cultural heritage in warfare, mercantilism and
venality in commerce, fetishes and talismans in magiv, and stigmata and
eligibility in kinship.
Another shared feature of the six
grand strategems is that each paraphilia subsumed under them is able to
exist in members of the human species not only because of their
personal developmental histories, but also because there is a phyletic
basis from which personal development originates. To illustrate:
pedophilia has its phyletic origins in parentalism. What happens
developmentally is that perentalism becomes paraphilically diverted
into the service of lust. Parent-child pairbonding and lover-lover
pairbonding become merged together, as do parental love and erotic
love. The neurobiology of the merger still remains unascertained, as do
most of the necessary and sufficient causes in the social biography.
The complete range of phyletic mechanisms that may become entrained in
the serivce of paraphilia is examined in Lovemaps (Money, 1986a).
By John Money, pp.
133-138, in Gay, Straight and In-Between: The Sexology of Erotic
Orientation. New York, NY: Oxford University Press. 1988.
John Money Concepts Of Determinism
John
Money Lovemaps
John Money Lust Love Paraphilia
John
Money Paraphilia Hypophilia Hyperphilia
John
Money Single Term Sexology
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